Epic FAIL (well, sort of)

Ever have one of those “Why didn’t I realize that was going to happen?” moments, you know, the kind that has you slap your head and get angry with yourself for not thinking more clearly? If not, I envy you!

I had an epic moment this past Friday night. Since I hadn’t been feeling well during my volunteer hours at the Madison Children’s Museum, I took the bus straight home to rest, instead of returning to the office. Later that evening, I decided to rally my sick self back to the office to get a few things for a business trip, and to retrieve my bicycle—and Jeremiah needed to print out some things at the office as well, so it seemed worth the trip.

After an hour or so, both of us were done our work and schelped our stuff back out to the car, which we had conveniently been able to park for free in the neighboring parking ramp. I plopped the boxes and bags in the truck, Jeremiah hoisted my bike up onto the roof rack and we happily started to drive home. 5 seconds into our drive, we hear a huge CRASH. Puzzled, we look at each other and then out the back window. Then, my heart sank as I realized that my bike (my baby) had been ripped off the roof rack by one of those “if you are this tall, you won’t make it up the ramp” signs. We stopped the car and got out, and sure enough, there on the ground, was my bike, still attached to the roof rack, but the gnarled roof rack was NOT attached to the car.

At this point, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I first wanted to cry---after all, my bike and I had become pretty good buds this summer. Then I wanted to laugh and thought “if we had caught this on film, it would have been great for the FAIL blog”. In the end, I cried. Thankfully, the damage to the bike seems to be pretty minimal—wheels that needed only to be slightly re-trued, shifters that need to be replaced, and aero bars that need to be re-aligned. The frame of the bike seems fine and Jeremiah thinks he’ll be able to do all the work.

I will admit that my first concern was for the bike. It took until the next day until I realized I should check out if we damaged the car at all. Of course, we did. There’s now a large scratch/dent in the roof where the trough of the bike rack rammed into the roof. Pretty random, but at least it’s not really that big of a deal.

The funny thing about blogs

is that you first feel like you want everyone to read it, and then you realize, 'oh crap, what if people are reading it!?!?!?' when you want to write about innermost secrets of your heart. What is it--a diary or a newsflash for everyone?

I'm 'working' from home today, but truth be told, I have been SUPER unproductive. Besides checking my email, looking a little bit into flights, and downloading one document, I haven't done anything in the last three hours but surf the internet. Not a great use of my time---only complicated by the fact that I am justifying my lack of productivity by the fact that I worked most of this past weekend and will be working (well, traveling) again this weekend. I don't get paid enough to work 12 hour days. So, let's hope this blog is more like a diary--else my boss will find out I'm a slacker.

Why am I so unmotivated? Well, I think it has to do with three things:
1. I am not excited about what I am doing right now;
2. I haven't gotten more than 6 hours of sleep a night for at least two weeks; and
3. (Most important) I am waiting for the arrival of my new boots.

Yes, sadly reason #3 is the most influential of my current state today. I have searched for many years for the perfect pair of black knee boots that fit the following criteria:

• flat (or kitten heel), since the bone spur in my big toe makes it hard to wear heels.
• not too vampy, since it doesn't fit my personality
• black
• leather, not pleather
• versatile from work to going out
• comfy (but, really is this even possible with cute shoes?!?!)
• not too expensive
• oh, and they have to fit my big athletic calves.

I never thought I was asking too much!! And, after a few years and several orders, with subsequent returns, I *think* I just may have found them.
They are slated to arrive today and I feel like I am stalking the front door. UPS truck, where are you?!?!?!?! If you would come, I could actually get my work done (of course, after I paraded around the house for awhile to truly determine if my long search is over!)

The scale ticks up

It has been a month since the tri (and really about 5 weeks since the hard workouts subsided). However, I haven't changed my eating habits. So, the other day, I felt brave and hopped on the scale. The verdict: up 5 pounds since the training ended. Sigh.

So, I start the battle again. I'm trying to be upbeat about it. Setting a goal of losing 15 more pound total (so down ten from where I was 5 weeks ago). But to tell you the truth, I'm not sure I can do that. I have only once or twice in my life, for a very short time even, been under 150. Both times, I wasn't healthy about. Both times, I became obsessed with the scale. So, I kind of feel like I am already setting myself up to fail. If I had to subsist on non-fat yogurt and low calorie bagels before to get to that 'magic number', how can I do it while still enjoying food?

I really wish that I could be thin--like JCrew model thin. I know, those girls are just that--girls. And, to add insult to injury, their photos are airbrushed. But, I'll never be JCrew thin. Rationally, I know that my frame is too big. My athletic build makes me a little meatier. But still, there is this nagging sense that life could be easier if I was thinner--like how much easier it would be to get dressed in the morning if all my clothes looked awesome.

Okay, enough rambling and whining from me. I'm off to finish my coffee and then dive into work. Lots (of really annoying administrative tasks) to do!

could I be an Ironwoman?

This weekend was Ironman Wisconsin--as evidenced by all the ripped men and women walking around town, and all the really sexy bikes that I saw at the registration tent. As the race came and went, I found myself wondering "What makes these folks different than me? Could I be an Iron(wo)man?"

On Sunday evening, I went to watch the end of the race--when all the 'normal' people would be finishing. When I say normal, I mean those people who are not trying to qualify for Kona or win their age group (or the race!). How inspirational to watch these Ironmen, the ones who finish in 12 or 14 hours! These folks look alot like you and I: fit but not machine-like, sometimes younger, sometimes older, some bleeding, some smiling from ear to ear. I wish I was more eloquent so I could explain the elation I felt for them and with them as they turned the corner to head up State Street for the last 3/4 mile of a 140.6 mile day.

Could I be an Ironman? Maybe. But, I also realize that the glory that comes from crossing the finishline on race day comes at a cost. Hours spent on the bike, in the pool, out on the road running. The training plans are enough to turn me away. Week 12, Sunday: 6 hour bike, 2 hour run--as a brick. Right now, I am saying no thank you. Maybe one day, but not now. I'm not tough enough mentally, nor am I practiced enough in the sport. I've set my sights on something more within reach: the half-iron, 1.2 mile swim, 58 mile bike, 13 mile run. THAT seems doable. Not easy, but a goal that can be attained with alot of sweat and tears.

Triathlons aren't my life (not like you can tell that from the blog). To be an Ironman, I feel like you have to be a triathlete first and a person (wife, mom, friend, co-worker, etc.) second. I'm not ready to make that sacrifice. The glory of Ironman doesn't seem worth it--but after seeing those runners Sunday night, it makes me wonder if it might be.

again, I slack.

Blogging is hard work....you have to come in on weekends, Saturdays, stay late, etc. I am not that dedicated. I have a bunch of friends who have these amazing blogs about all the yummy food they cook, or all the great things they do. I just can't seem to get into a rhythm. Maybe I should change the name to "Den of Slack"...

Well, just to update, I did finish my O-length triathlon in 2:53. I placed in my age group--my official place is somewhere between 1 and 3. But, really all that matters is that I got a sweet trophy. I don't think I have had a trophy since I was in T-ball! (many many moons ago!). I already have my sights set on a completely a half-iron next summer or fall. (and shaving some time off my O-length...and losing another ten pounds....and being a rock star....well, a girl can dream can't she?!?!?!

After the race, I had a terrible case of the blues. I realized that the intense training schedule had given me refuge from all the anxiety and uncertainty that I have been struggling with. With no training plan to occupy me 1-3 hours a day, my mind was left to spin out of control. It has been a rough couple of weeks.

But, I am back on the training wagon again. There is a half marathon here November:
Frankly, I want to do it just because the T-shirt will be really cool...and you get two free beers after the race!! Jeremiah is going to run it as well, and has been talking so much trash I have to start following him with a broom!

So, that's the update. That wasn't too hard. I didn't have come in on Saturday, or the weekend, or stay late, I just had to steal time from work!