dreaming of popsicles

Moody

2011-08-02T07:26:00.000-07:00

Pregnancy does some crazy things to your body--and even 18 months later, I'm still feeling a little out of whack! Pre-Sean, my moods didn't swing wildly through the month. Now, I feel like I'm an emotional roller coaster. This weekend, I was happy and giggling about a prank I pulled on a friend (loading random appointments into his calendar). Today, I am a mix of weepy and "come too close to me and I will rip your face off". It's days like today I need to really be mindful of all the wonderful things around me.

I started the day off with a run, despite the fact that I was feeling totally exhausted and dehydrated. It wasn't a stellar run by any means (20 minutes, with 5 minutes of power walking at the end), but I had to go. I didn't run yesterday, and if two days go by without hitting the pavement in some way, I fall out of the routine and turn right back into a couch potato. I finally feel like I'm making some progress on my fitness and strength, so I really don't want to lose my momentum right now.

My parents are visiting right now--soaking in some quality time with the little man and helping with a few house projects. It's tough to find a good balance of getting things done and having fun--and I feel like we always spend too much time on the former. However, yesterday, my mom and I took Sean to a local farm that advertizes itself as a petting zoo. What fun it was to see all these crazy goats trying to scale the fence to get to the little cup of feed in Sean's hand! I'm not sure who had more fun amongst the three of us--and I am pretty sure that we'll be stopping in again soon!

So, what's good right now? Here's three:
1. Just finished a lovely cup of coffee at my desk.
2. The air conditioning my office feels good today!
3. P90X should be arriving today or tomorrow! Jeremiah and I will be Drs Diesel by Thanksgiving!

(although, I would still keep your distance. I might still rip your face off--unless you approach with chocolate in-hand!)

Hopping back on the wagon

2011-07-27T09:59:00.000-07:00

Months ago, I promised to blog every day to celebrate the positive--in a way, to force myself to see the good things in my life. I failed. I'm not sure why, but I did.

But, now, I'd like to hop back on the wagon for a few reasons. First, this summer has given me chance to see that we really do have it good. I know it feels hard a lot of the time, especially during the academic year. But, the truth is, we have a roof over our head, meals on the table, money in the bank, and most of all, a beautiful little boy who is filling our house and our lives with contagious giggles and boundless energy. I never expected parenting to be simultaneously the hardest and most rewarding thing I'd ever do in my life.

Second, I'm really making a commitment to get my butt ( well really my whole body!) back into shape. I was reading through previous posts about training for the half iron--and I miss that. I miss pushing myself to accomplish something big. I'm lacking that in my professional life right now, and I need to diversify my personal life. I love being a mother, but I've been feeling too one dimensional for a while. I am making a commitment to put myself first every once and while. As Jeremiah says, "Be selfish. I'll let you know when you're crossing a line." So, there you have it. I'm going to be selfish for a while. I will get back into the damn Seven jeans. I will feel good about the way I look in pictures. I will feel sexy in my own skin again. It's going to take a lot of hard work and some compromises, but I am motivated to make it happen.

Thirdly (is that even a word?), we're not content here in NH and I feel negative a lot of the time. I need to find the joy in the little things--so that I can handle the big things without feeling overwhelmed and defeated.

So what's so good today? It's in the upper 70s and sunny. I had a great cup of coffee and the little guy didn't run into the street when he wanted to see the dog across the street. He reached up to hold my hand and pointed. It's so amazing to watch him learn things.

And on the fitness level:
Ran 3.4 miles/35:44 minutes. Not a great pace, but I'm getting stronger. The hills here are killer and certainly slow the pace. I'm looking forward to a flat run someday to see just how much fitness I've gained!

I'll be looking into running races for this fall--and some tris for next spring/summer. It feels good to be focused again.

keep your eyes peeled

2011-04-12T13:08:00.000-07:00

It's true that life totally passes you by if you are not paying attention. On Saturday, Jeremiah and I drove over to Hanover to watch Cornell Women's lacrosse play Dartmouth. On our way there, I noticed a car pulled off on the side of the road. Thankfully, Jeremiah was more alert. Lo and behold, this guy was standing in the woods by the side of the road.

I made Jeremiah turn around and go back so I could get some pictures. It's not everyday you see a moose.

every day? really?

2011-04-12T12:45:00.001-07:00

Maybe I should shoot for every week instead--since I've already failed miserably at posting. But, the beauty of this new outlook is that I can't beat myself up for imperfections. Mistakes happen--and sometimes take you places more beautiful than you were going in the first place.

What did this week have in store for us? Jeremiah didn't get fired. I should probably explain that....

On Wednesday, when I made my first post, Jeremiah was presenting to the faculty at PSU about a little project we're calling "Plymouth Pick-upPalooza". After 6 weeks of collecting garbage in our neighborhood, Jeremiah weighed the bags (that have been collecting in our garage, basement and foyer) to reveal that one man, on one 20 minute dog walk per day can collect 117.5 lbs of recycling. I'm not sure what's more frightening: Jeremiah presenting this information to the faculty or the fact that there was that much garbage on our streets. I thought it was crazy to collect all this garbage. I thought it was crazier to present to the faculty, fearing he would be flamed for revealing the flaws of our students. But, when you love someone, you have support their dreams--even if you think doing so will result in them getting fired and you having to sell the house. Ultimately, the faculty embraced him and now he's a man on a mission.

Look for "Plymouth Pick-upPalooza" on FB and like him. And, for those of you keeping track--yes, this means that Jeremiah has a Facebook page!

year 34

2011-04-06T09:43:00.000-07:00

Today is the first day of my 34th year--well, I guess it's really the second day since it's the day after my birthday. This blog has laid dormant for a long time (which is apparently what happens to a lot of blogs) and I decided that for this year, technically my 35th (in progress), I'll post every day.

So much of life passes by without us really taking stock of what's happening around us, to us, for us. This year, I want to know that I experienced every minute (to the best of my ability). I know this is not a novel idea, and there will be plenty of people who do it better than I will, but I need this right now. I need to make sure I'm not wishing away days and waiting for the-end-of-the-semester-when-I'm-thinner-or-more-in-shape-when-the-weather-is-better days.

I thank Kelle Hampton and her amazing blog and outlook on life for helping me to see that, yes, it is the small things in life that make it worth living.

A three sport day

2009-05-10T19:16:00.000-07:00

ugh.

Thanks to yesterday's cold and windy weather, I shuffled around my workouts so I could do the brick today. Unfortunately, it wasn't really that much warmer. And since I couldn't squeeze in a trip to the pool yesterday, I had to make today a three sporter.

The pool was EMPTY, which was totally awesome. I love not having to share a lane, especially on my long days. However, I will never understand why the Nat can't make the water just a little bit warmer. I definitely stand on the pool deck for a few extra minutes, dreading the coldness I am about to plunge into. Today's workout:

250 yds warm up
1800 yds main set
250 yds cool down

Main set took 29:50, meaning I am still maintaining a 1:40 pace for the 100s as the swims get longer. I'm pretty satisfied with that and I felt like i probably could have pushed myself a little harder today, but since I had been dreading the pool workout, and since I still had a brick ahead of me, I didn't push to exhaustion.

brick:
bike 1hr, 16 miles.
run 23 minutes.

The wind was okay...not great, but I was able to maintain speed most of the time. I also have gained back a lot of confidence staying in aero. I nearly hit a bunny rabbit who dashed out onto the bike path. Thankfully, I avoided him...and the lady that was riding slightly in front of me. I would have felt pretty dumb if I had caused both of us to crash, in order to avoid hitting a rabbit. silly rabbit.

The run felt terrible and I never really hit a groove until I was about three blocks from home. Around the 11 min mark, I almost started to cry. I mean, in 9 weeks, I have to put this all together, and finish 70.3 miles. I feel so far from ready right now I can't imagine how I'm going to get there.

And, I may be suffering from a little bit of overtraining. I'm dreading workout, frustrated with my performance and feel kind of down. Today, I even picked a fight with Dear Husband because he stayed at the lake later than he had said....even though it didn't affect me directly. Tomorrow is a day off--both physcially and mentally, as I am taking a day off of work too. I hope that Tuesday I return with a renewed enthusiasm that will push me through the next 9 weeks.

5/8 and 5/9

2009-05-09T19:14:00.000-07:00

5/8/09: a Double.

Swim:
300 m warm up
6x50 m drill
3x200 m threshold, 45 s rest
6x50 m sprint, 20 s rest
6x50 m kick, 15 sec
300 m cool down

Note: i only did 4 50s of the kick set and 100 m of the cool down. Dear Husband showed up at the pool--and the worrier in me expected the worst. Turns out I just needed to sign some house contract papers and he wanted to get me to do it as soon as possible.

Bike: 1 hr, 30 min.
I plotted a route out to Sun Prairie, 24 miles RT. The ride was BORING, pretty flat, roads were really bumpy and the traffic was steady. So, I'm not sure I'll do that route again. Dear Husband and I enjoyed the warm weather, and he even commented that I am looking stronger on the bike! I did feel really strong on the bike for the first time in a while. We got home, stretched and then it down poured. I'm relieved it waited.

5/09:
Run: 9.2 miles, 1 hr, 22 min (again...the 9 minute pace!! argh.)
I was actually supposed to do a brick today, but the weather sucked here. Cold, windy and damp from rain all night, more or less the recipe for a miserable ride. So, I did a run today (much longer than what I am slated to do tomorrow) and went long so I could start to build my confidence for the 1/2 marathon in three weeks. I felt okay--and really any struggles I felt were toward the second half of the run when I was a little dehydrated. I think I need to start wearing the hydration belt again for runs over 1 hr. I had hoped a GU would be enough...but I wasn't so lucky. I definitely felt a little a little crampy by the end. I think I'll shoot for 11.5 miles next weekend so I'll nearly have run the mileage of the race. I should be fine...since my cardiovascular health is good....but, I'd sure love to come in under 1:55 (last year's time).

the long journey

2009-05-08T06:57:00.000-07:00

It's been 10 weeks since my last post...and much has happened! A brief synopsis:

1. I decided to stop blogging because I was boring even myself! Training, training, training.... But now, I kind of what to record (even if it is just for me) the training process...so if at any time I think that a FULL Ironman is a good idea, I'll be able to look back and remind myself why it is a BAD idea!

2. Dear Husband got a faculty job, and the university put together a part time position for me. His position is great and he's super excited about it. My position is a little murky, but has a lot of potential.

3. We bought a house...which is totally crazy. it's an older house and needs a little bit of work--mostly cosmetic: things like removing wall paper from every single wall in the house, removing nasty old carpet (to reveal beautiful hardwood floors) and regrading the backyard. The mortage process is crazy. Just yesterday, we had the appraisal come back. Bad news was the house appraised at 150K....which is 30K less than our mortgage. Good news is that the seller's dropped the price to 150K!!! holy crap.

4. We've nearly figured out the moving details: when we're moving, how we're doing it, etc.

5. Training is going okay. I am exhausted most days and feel discouraged at how slowly my run times are, even when I feel like I am going fast! argh. But, I suppose it will all come together on race day. I've got ten more weeks till the race--and I am only in week 2 of the big, 6 week build phase. I also think I am going to increase some of my run mileage to build my confidence. My goal time is still 6.5 hours. I think it's possible...but really, I think that finishing will be pretty awesome. I'm also looking forward to being back in upstate NY and drinking a little wine. Since the race is only three weeks after our 3rd anniversary, and the bike course goes by the Buttonwood Grove (where we got married), I particularly excited.

In a nutshell, that's what's up. And for good measure:
Workout, 5/7/09: 45 minute run, 5 miles. 6x20 s sprints with 40 s active recovery. The run was a struggle. I was tired and not well hydrated. The first mile I struggled to catch my breath (sign of overtraining?) but by the 3rd mile felt okay.

Let the insanity begin

2009-03-01T09:16:00.000-08:00

I've registered.

http://www.musselmantri.com/

Finally, it's Friday.

2009-01-23T07:35:00.000-08:00

What a long freakin' week it has been...and sadly, I think that the next week will be just as long. Dear Husband has an interview at the end of next week, which we are both excited about. But, I think we are equally nervous and anxious about it too. This weekend will be filled with presentation writing, presentation practicing, lecture prep and maybe some ironing.

I feel really good to have gotten back on track with working out. I still haven't worked out my race schedule or training plan, but at least I made it to the gym a few times and have curtailed the eating a little!

Wednesday: 4 mile run (ugh, on the treadmill) and some ab work

Thursday: 20 minutes continuous swim (likely 1300 yds but I lost count after 200); (100 kick, 100 pull)x4.

This swim workout wasn't stellar, but I was super stressed yesterday and just needed to veg. I figured something was better than nothing and I just didn't have the drive to push myself for a tough aerobic set.

Swim workout, 1/20

2009-01-20T14:54:00.000-08:00

Warm up: 600 m (400 free, 200 back), 10 min
Strength: (150m kick, 150 pull) x3, :10 sec rest
Cardio: 6x100 free, 1:50
Cool down: 50 m
Total distance: 2150 m

Nothing brilliant to add here. Just plugging away. Tonight, I hope to map out my training plan for the next six months....fun!

Home

2009-01-18T08:38:00.001-08:00

I made it back pretty easily yesterday--only about 45 minutes later than scheduled. Which, frankly is pretty good since it was snowing in Detroit. My dear husband and a good friend picked me up at the airport and whisked me off to the Ale Asylum for a beer with the crew and then some tacos at our favorite taqueria, Tex Tubb's Taco Palace. It was great to see everyone and really be welcomed home after a long time away. Our friend's in Madison are great. :)

This morning, I find myself in the post-travel-pre-return-to-work blues. Combine that with the Sunday blues, and it makes it hard to want to face the day. Back in grad school, my best bud Catherine and I always got the Sunday blues, that sad feeling in the pit of your stomach that comes with the realization that tomorrow morning you have to get up early, get dressed, and go to work to face the same shit you happily left behind you on Friday afternoon. Back then, we'd head to the movies on Sunday night to extend the weekend just a little bit longer.

I realize that every job has peaks and valleys, so I am not expecting the Sunday Blues to ever completely vanish--but lately, I get the blues every.damn.week. I am pretty much ready to move on from my current job (for lots of reasons that I won't take time to enumerate) but we are bound here until the end of the semester....and until one of us finds a job elsewhere (or at least another job in Madison). Job prospects don't look at that great for me in this current market, so I am hoping that the dear husband comes through on this one! (no pressure, dear.)

It is the feeling of being completely trapped that gets me down. Instead of triggering the Fight or Flight instinct, being trapped causes me to give up in defeat. It's a good thing I am not a wild animal, or I would have ended up in somebody else's belly long ago. The husband tries his best to be encouraging and help me find ways to shape my current job into something I want, but my boss has different ideas and redirects me back to the tasks and projects I loathe.

Well, I have say here feeling sorry for myself for long enough this morning. My suitcase needs to be unpacked, and we are headed cross country skiing in a little bit. The snow here is lovely today--and it is pretty warm (in the 20s). A few tumbles down a small hill should chase these blues away in no time.

Longing to be home

2009-01-17T13:19:00.000-08:00

Typically, I enjoy traveling--and even try to grin and bear it during those parts that aren't meant to be enjoyable. For instance, I make it a point to talk and joke around with the TSA guys as I am sorting all my clothes, electronics, liquids and gels into their separate bins. I religiously read the Sky Mall as the airplane sits in the take-off queue. If I didn't, how would I know about all the technological advances out there? How did we ever get along without these:

I bet hot dogs have never tasted so good!

Haven't you always wanted a garden Yeti?

But, despite all the fun I have while traveling, there is a certain longing to be home that I get during the last leg of a trip. While sitting here in the Detroit airport (which is surprisingly swanky), I find myself ready to be home. I have been on the road for the last 10 days and at this very moment, I want nothing more than to be sitting on my couch, with my dog and my husband, watching the winter snow come down. Instead, I am sitting in the airport, with hundreds of strangers, watching the snow come down, while I keep one eye on the departure screen. They've just announced we're boarding...so with my fingers crossed (which makes it hard to type!), I'll sign off here.

Sometimes, three mojotios are a good idea

2009-01-15T20:48:00.000-08:00

I have decided i would try "drunk" blogging. I have just spent the last three hours feeding myself mojitos at a local Philly Cuban watering hole. And frankly, it was lovely. I had gone to Alma de Cuba over on Walnut, for a night cap...one mojito. well....as I was sitting there, one turned into three. I would like to say I am justified in drinking these three since I was chatting on my cell phone with a friend and the easiest sign to the bartender was "one more round, please". But truly, three mojitos is about two too many. But, the warmth of the restaurant got the best of me and I found myself embracing the Cuban-like "weather" inside and yearning for the stability that affords one the ability to drink swanky drinks in swanky lounges on a regular basis.

ick, ICE!

2009-01-04T12:38:00.000-08:00

Last night's weather was wretched. Yes, it is winter in Wisconsin, so you might think we got 12 inches of snow, or it was -10 degrees out there. Those things are completely possible in Madison, and dare I say, preferable to what we really got---freezing rain. Now, every flat surface in town is coated with a thin layer of invisible ice.

We ventured out to a friend's house for a juice party. I was careful to walk very gingerly out to the car, but I guess that wisdom left me when I got out of the car downtown. Ten steps later, the bag of treats, the six pack of beer and I were strewn across the sidewalk in all different directions. A modern day miracle that none of us broke! The hummus spilled out of the Pyrex bowl, the a few beers rolled out of the carrier and I felt a little confused as to why I was looking up at the sky all of a sudden. A few laughs later, I was back on my feet and marching on to the promise of juice.

Icy sidewalks (roads, driveways, porches, etc) stink, so, I am going to go ahead and say it....we need more snow.

New year brings new goals

2009-01-02T15:05:00.000-08:00

So, it is 2009. This year, I'll turn 32, move again, change jobs again and probably need to fill my eyeglass prescription. While it looks like my year will already be FULL of excitement...I wanted to add in a few personal goals and resolutions. Maybe having written these down will help me to actually fulfill them!

Okay, I'm going to start with the mundane. Resolution 1: I will hang up my coat in the coat closet as soon as I get home, instead of throwing it on the chair, the bed, the floor, the desk....wel,l I think you get the point that my coat usually ends up anywhere BUT the closest. I know it sounds stupid, but for some reason this is hard for me. When I admitted to my husband that I had made a resolution for this year, he looked at my skeptically, since he doesn't do resolutions. When I told him what it was, he smiled and offered his full support. Apparently, he doesn't appreciate my coat(s) being everywhere and anywhere all at once!

Resolution 2: Lose the ten pounds I gained between the end of tri season and now. I know that everyone else in America will also resolve to lose weight...so at least I am not alone. Starting out, I feel pretty discouraged, since I had just worked so hard to lose the weight last winter. Something about Wisconsin winters makes you gain ten pounds. I'm not sure if it's the beer, the cheese, the cold weather or the lack of sun. I think in my case it is all four!!

Resolution 3: Stop biting my cuticles. This is a terrible habit I have--and something I do when I am really anxious. Currently, that means my hands are a mess. It has gotten to the point where my fingers hurt and I am embarrassed to have people see my hands. This resolution will be the hardest one for me since it involves dealing with my anxiety in a different way, at a time where my anxiety level are pretty high.

So, those are my resolutions, those things I want to change about myself. But, I think that new years should also bring new goals. For me, these goals revolve around completing some pretty daunting races. I have my eyes set on a half Ironman in late summer. I am still working on my race schedule and some things will depend on where we end up moving to this summer. At least I have managed to come to my senses and realize that a full marathon and three triathlons will be too much to complete over the span of four months.

Training starts now....hence, I went running in 15 degree weather. For anyone curious, 15 degrees is too freaking cold to be running in.

It's winter already.

2008-11-18T08:42:00.000-08:00

November 18th and it is already winter. Yesterday we had snow. Granted it was only a dusting, but it was pretty windy and looked (and felt) pretty feirce while I was walking the dog. Dog loves this weather. When he got outside, it was like Christmas and his birthday all rolled into one. So, at least that made me smile!

Winter has forced my workouts inside--partly because it is too cold to run outside and partly because it get dark by 5 PM. Thankfully, I can swim to break up the monotony of the treadmill.

Yesterday's pool workout:
300 m warm up
5 x (100 kick, 100 pull), :10 s rest
4x100 free (2:00--which was too easy)
8x25 drill (fast start, catchup, one arm...etc)
total distance: 1800 m

Patience, Kim-San, patience.

2008-10-29T10:09:00.000-07:00

Argh. When it comes to character flaws, being impatient is my numero uno. I like...err, need, to be able to control my own trajectory. Waiting on applications, waiting on emails, (or even waiting in line!) makes me anxious, irritable and weepy.

I need Mr. Miagi now!

?que es "tagging"?

2008-10-27T18:45:00.000-07:00

A week or so ago, my friend Ruthie "tagged" me. Not being a N-gener (she's a whopping 3 years younger than me!), I have no idea what this means. But, I read the directions and I *think* I understand.

Ruthie's blog (http://musingsfrommadison.blogspot.com/) is absolutely delightful--but I'll warn you NOT to read it late in the afternoon. All the recipes and yummy pictures will have you drooling on your keyboard. (See...that is rule 1 of tagging, link to the person who tagged you....too bad I don't know how to embed links1)

Now for rule 2, my seven random things:

1. I am ridiculously competitive---e.g. on Friday night, my dear husband and I went to the gym to run. It was raining cats and dogs, so we figured we would take "refuge" on the treadmill (I use the term "refuge" VERY loosely!!). As we ran next to each other, I found myself spying on his pace....and always made sure I was at least 0.2 miles/hr faster. When we run outside together, I need to be a quarter-step ahead. Lucky for me, Jeremiah has begun to find this behavior humorous!

2. When drunk, I like to eat the worst junk food available. Ever wonder who eats those hotdogs at 7-eleven? You know the ones that look like they have been on those hot rollers for days. It's me.

3. I miss riding my bike. I haven't fixed it since the epic fail a month ago, and every weekend I find myself staring longingly at the other bikers in Madison.

4. Right now, I find myself oddly glued to the World Series score. The Phillies lead the series 3-1 over the Devil Rays. Game 5 is currently underway. Phillies lead 2-1 in the top of the 6th inning. Philadelphia hasn't won a World Series since 1980...could this be our year?!?!?

5. Halloween is my least favorite of all the holidays. (People in masks are creepy, right?)

6. I kind of want to run this marathon:

E.T. Full Moon Midnight Marathon, 1/2, 10K, & 51K

August 8-9, 2009 (Midnight races!) ~ Rachel, NV near mysterious Area 51!

but frankly, I know it would suck to run all night.

7. I have the cutest dog on earth.

So, that's my seven. I would do step three...but the only people I know that blog are Ruthie and Jessie. Ruthie tagged me, so it seems silly to tag her, she already tagged Jessie. You can read her seven on her blog: http://robbplusjessie.com/. As for step 4...well, I didn't do step three so I guess I'm off the hook!!

With that, I am going to go enjoy some Indian Pumpkin Soup (ala Ruthie and Eric!). I made it tonight--with some minor edits, because I can never quite follow a recipe. It is totally yummy! Check it out!

mmmm....PIE!

2008-10-06T14:40:00.000-07:00

I know, you were probably expecting me to write mmmmm...BOP. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find my Hanson CD lately.

Last night I made an apple pie. I'm pretty sure I haven't ever made a pie before. I've helped my mom or my husband make pies, but never embarked on the journey all by myself. It started yesterday at lunch. On this rainy Sunday, I had a hankering for warm apple pie and a cup of tea. Unfortunately, the Weary Traveler didn't have any pie. So....I had to make it myself!

Here's the finished product:

I like to cook...but could somebody else come over and do all the dishes?!?S!?

Just checkin' in

2008-10-03T07:39:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've written so I thought I would just pop in and say hello. Truth is I have been feeling pretty blah these last two weeks: tired, recovering from a cold, not interested in exercising, bored....well, you get the idea. Life feels like I am just going through the motions. Most days, I am out doing something, but what I really wish I was doing was taking a nap. le sigh.

Hopefully, I snap out of the doldrums in a few days/weeks and get back to the my regularly scheduled programming.

In the mean time....here are some pics from a beer fest we went to last weekend.

Getting a beer:

The boys with some beer maidens:

oh and did I mention it was also a gun show?

Epic FAIL (well, sort of)

2008-09-23T11:35:00.000-07:00

Ever have one of those “Why didn’t I realize that was going to happen?” moments, you know, the kind that has you slap your head and get angry with yourself for not thinking more clearly? If not, I envy you!

I had an epic moment this past Friday night. Since I hadn’t been feeling well during my volunteer hours at the Madison Children’s Museum, I took the bus straight home to rest, instead of returning to the office. Later that evening, I decided to rally my sick self back to the office to get a few things for a business trip, and to retrieve my bicycle—and Jeremiah needed to print out some things at the office as well, so it seemed worth the trip.

After an hour or so, both of us were done our work and schelped our stuff back out to the car, which we had conveniently been able to park for free in the neighboring parking ramp. I plopped the boxes and bags in the truck, Jeremiah hoisted my bike up onto the roof rack and we happily started to drive home. 5 seconds into our drive, we hear a huge CRASH. Puzzled, we look at each other and then out the back window. Then, my heart sank as I realized that my bike (my baby) had been ripped off the roof rack by one of those “if you are this tall, you won’t make it up the ramp” signs. We stopped the car and got out, and sure enough, there on the ground, was my bike, still attached to the roof rack, but the gnarled roof rack was NOT attached to the car.

At this point, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I first wanted to cry---after all, my bike and I had become pretty good buds this summer. Then I wanted to laugh and thought “if we had caught this on film, it would have been great for the FAIL blog”. In the end, I cried. Thankfully, the damage to the bike seems to be pretty minimal—wheels that needed only to be slightly re-trued, shifters that need to be replaced, and aero bars that need to be re-aligned. The frame of the bike seems fine and Jeremiah thinks he’ll be able to do all the work.

I will admit that my first concern was for the bike. It took until the next day until I realized I should check out if we damaged the car at all. Of course, we did. There’s now a large scratch/dent in the roof where the trough of the bike rack rammed into the roof. Pretty random, but at least it’s not really that big of a deal.

The funny thing about blogs

2008-09-18T12:53:00.000-07:00

is that you first feel like you want everyone to read it, and then you realize, 'oh crap, what if people are reading it!?!?!?' when you want to write about innermost secrets of your heart. What is it--a diary or a newsflash for everyone?

I'm 'working' from home today, but truth be told, I have been SUPER unproductive. Besides checking my email, looking a little bit into flights, and downloading one document, I haven't done anything in the last three hours but surf the internet. Not a great use of my time---only complicated by the fact that I am justifying my lack of productivity by the fact that I worked most of this past weekend and will be working (well, traveling) again this weekend. I don't get paid enough to work 12 hour days. So, let's hope this blog is more like a diary--else my boss will find out I'm a slacker.

Why am I so unmotivated? Well, I think it has to do with three things:
1. I am not excited about what I am doing right now;
2. I haven't gotten more than 6 hours of sleep a night for at least two weeks; and
3. (Most important) I am waiting for the arrival of my new boots.

Yes, sadly reason #3 is the most influential of my current state today. I have searched for many years for the perfect pair of black knee boots that fit the following criteria:

flat (or kitten heel), since the bone spur in my big toe makes it hard to wear heels.
not too vampy, since it doesn't fit my personality
black
leather, not pleather
versatile from work to going out
comfy (but, really is this even possible with cute shoes?!?!)
not too expensive
oh, and they have to fit my big athletic calves.

I never thought I was asking too much!! And, after a few years and several orders, with subsequent returns, I *think* I just may have found them.
They are slated to arrive today and I feel like I am stalking the front door. UPS truck, where are you?!?!?!?! If you would come, I could actually get my work done (of course, after I paraded around the house for awhile to truly determine if my long search is over!)

The scale ticks up

2008-09-09T08:06:00.000-07:00

It has been a month since the tri (and really about 5 weeks since the hard workouts subsided). However, I haven't changed my eating habits. So, the other day, I felt brave and hopped on the scale. The verdict: up 5 pounds since the training ended. Sigh.

So, I start the battle again. I'm trying to be upbeat about it. Setting a goal of losing 15 more pound total (so down ten from where I was 5 weeks ago). But to tell you the truth, I'm not sure I can do that. I have only once or twice in my life, for a very short time even, been under 150. Both times, I wasn't healthy about. Both times, I became obsessed with the scale. So, I kind of feel like I am already setting myself up to fail. If I had to subsist on non-fat yogurt and low calorie bagels before to get to that 'magic number', how can I do it while still enjoying food?

I really wish that I could be thin--like JCrew model thin. I know, those girls are just that--girls. And, to add insult to injury, their photos are airbrushed. But, I'll never be JCrew thin. Rationally, I know that my frame is too big. My athletic build makes me a little meatier. But still, there is this nagging sense that life could be easier if I was thinner--like how much easier it would be to get dressed in the morning if all my clothes looked awesome.

Okay, enough rambling and whining from me. I'm off to finish my coffee and then dive into work. Lots (of really annoying administrative tasks) to do!

could I be an Ironwoman?

2008-09-06T19:15:00.001-07:00

This weekend was Ironman Wisconsin--as evidenced by all the ripped men and women walking around town, and all the really sexy bikes that I saw at the registration tent. As the race came and went, I found myself wondering "What makes these folks different than me? Could I be an Iron(wo)man?"

On Sunday evening, I went to watch the end of the race--when all the 'normal' people would be finishing. When I say normal, I mean those people who are not trying to qualify for Kona or win their age group (or the race!). How inspirational to watch these Ironmen, the ones who finish in 12 or 14 hours! These folks look alot like you and I: fit but not machine-like, sometimes younger, sometimes older, some bleeding, some smiling from ear to ear. I wish I was more eloquent so I could explain the elation I felt for them and with them as they turned the corner to head up State Street for the last 3/4 mile of a 140.6 mile day.

Could I be an Ironman? Maybe. But, I also realize that the glory that comes from crossing the finishline on race day comes at a cost. Hours spent on the bike, in the pool, out on the road running. The training plans are enough to turn me away. Week 12, Sunday: 6 hour bike, 2 hour run--as a brick. Right now, I am saying no thank you. Maybe one day, but not now. I'm not tough enough mentally, nor am I practiced enough in the sport. I've set my sights on something more within reach: the half-iron, 1.2 mile swim, 58 mile bike, 13 mile run. THAT seems doable. Not easy, but a goal that can be attained with alot of sweat and tears.

Triathlons aren't my life (not like you can tell that from the blog). To be an Ironman, I feel like you have to be a triathlete first and a person (wife, mom, friend, co-worker, etc.) second. I'm not ready to make that sacrifice. The glory of Ironman doesn't seem worth it--but after seeing those runners Sunday night, it makes me wonder if it might be.

again, I slack.

2008-09-04T10:07:00.001-07:00

Blogging is hard work....you have to come in on weekends, Saturdays, stay late, etc. I am not that dedicated. I have a bunch of friends who have these amazing blogs about all the yummy food they cook, or all the great things they do. I just can't seem to get into a rhythm. Maybe I should change the name to "Den of Slack"...

Well, just to update, I did finish my O-length triathlon in 2:53. I placed in my age group--my official place is somewhere between 1 and 3. But, really all that matters is that I got a sweet trophy. I don't think I have had a trophy since I was in T-ball! (many many moons ago!). I already have my sights set on a completely a half-iron next summer or fall. (and shaving some time off my O-length...and losing another ten pounds....and being a rock star....well, a girl can dream can't she?!?!?!

After the race, I had a terrible case of the blues. I realized that the intense training schedule had given me refuge from all the anxiety and uncertainty that I have been struggling with. With no training plan to occupy me 1-3 hours a day, my mind was left to spin out of control. It has been a rough couple of weeks.

But, I am back on the training wagon again. There is a half marathon here November:
Frankly, I want to do it just because the T-shirt will be really cool...and you get two free beers after the race!! Jeremiah is going to run it as well, and has been talking so much trash I have to start following him with a broom!

So, that's the update. That wasn't too hard. I didn't have come in on Saturday, or the weekend, or stay late, I just had to steal time from work!

Overtraining?

2008-07-10T19:12:00.000-07:00

Even though it has been a week since I have written, I have been hard at work, in the pool, on the bike and on the road. Hard at work to the point where I am worried that I may just be overtraining.

This week's regime:
Saturday (7/5): biked 25 miles of steep hills on the bike
Sunday (7/6): tried to run 8-9 miles...but it was the middle of a hot afternoon, so I ran 1. :(
Monday (7/7): 2700 meters in the pool, with my hardest set being 8x100s on the 2:00. Those really pushed my heart rate up!
Tuesday (7/8): a brick. 1:45 on the bike (23.4 miles) and 28 minutes running
Wednesday (7/9): 2500 meter in the pool. Distance set--developed some mental toughness on that 800!
Thursday (7/10): 45 minutes run, 5 miles.
Friday (7/11): taking off!
Saturday (7/12): RACE DAY!

Okay, so all those details are probably unnecessary, but for my own sanity I needed to write them down. I have been sleeping REALLY badly. I fall asleep quickly, but then toss and turn alot during the night. I never feel rested and my body is fatigued a lot. The first two miles of my run today were kind of a struggle (which showed in my splits!). I feel like Google is telling me: You are overtraining! I am trying to listen, but not being very good about it. I had started the run tonight going easy. By the 15 minute mark, I found myself checking my watch, wondering what my pace was. My negative split for the last half of the run tells me I wasn't very good about keeping this run 'easy'. Sigh. Why I am I so stubborn?!!?

More interestingly, Saturday is race day. I'm pretty jazzed about it. Nervous, but in a good way. It will be really nice to work out the (some) kinks of transition out now, so I will be smoother and smarter for the Oshkosh tri in August. The biggest draw back is that the race starts at 8 am...an hour from here. So I'll be up and on the road by 5:30 to get there in time for packet pick up, transition setup and all that fun stuff. And frankly, I'd prefer that 5:30 came only once a day.

Off to rest and recover. I started carb loading tonight with a post work snack of crackers and yummy dinner of pasta. Next update, I'll have completed my first tri!!

Weekend warrior turned fashionista

2008-06-29T16:02:00.000-07:00

Some weekends I hate that I have 3-4 hours of training to do. I get a little squirrelly about when I am going to fit it in, whether I should do the run on Saturday or Sunday, what routes I should take (and lots of other random things). I get squirrelly about a lot of things, so at least this pattern of thinking of thinking is not new!

But, squirrelly or not, I got all my workouts in. My ride yesterday was really relaxing--well, as relaxing as a 30 mile training ride can be. I had been dreading it, but the lake views calmed me down. I also had some fun dodging rain drops (and hail!) as a few storms rolled through. My run today started with a few bad choices (a long sleeve shirt and shorts that ride up), which made the first 2-3 miles annoying. Although, I might say it made all 8 miles annoying. But, it was the first 2 or 3 miles that I spent cursing myself.

Today's shorts debacle has me really thinking deeply about my tri: what am I going to wear!?!?!? I'm not ready to plunk down a lot of money on a trisuit--since this is just my first triathlon. Do I run in bike shorts? That doesn't seem very comfortable. What do I swim in? What about the sports bra issue? Ah, these are the real questions when it comes to training!

And of course, the most important factor: Can I find an outfit that I still look cute in? Because just finishing is not enough--I have to look good while doing it!

a slacker week

2008-06-28T09:22:00.001-07:00

I tried very hard to follow the training program this week. I did my brick on Tuesday. I swam on Thursday. But I didn't run last night. This week my regular life got in the way of my training--sometimes in great ways, sometimes in not so great ways.

Wednesday was my two year wedding anniversary, so I was happy to rearrange my day off of training to spend some (much needed) quality time with my husband. After our second year of marriage, we are in such a better place (emotionally, physically, geographically...etc!) than we were a year ago. I managed to find the best present ever--a used record player. My dear husband started purchasing vinyl last month with nothing to play it on. (Why someone would do this I have NO idea!!) After unsuccessfully searching around on Craig's List for a few days, I wandered into a local used CD/record store and found a great player. The look on his face was awesome--and we have listened to the two records he owns too many times to count!

Friday was a different story. I bailed on my run because my job has me beaten down. I came home, had a good cry and then sat on the porch with a good friend and drank a few beers. I wish that I had been able to leave my disappointment and sadness about this project at the office, get my run in and then sit on the porch and drink a beer or two, but my heart was just way too heavy. Even this morning, I am still in a funk--but I can't bail on today's workout. I am dreading the 2 hours of solitude on the bike, where I will likely rehash every conversation I had in the last two weeks, re-analyze all the meetings and ponder what I could have said differently to make this project run smoother.

Some days, like today, I wish there was an 'off' switch to my brain.

i love new toys!

2008-06-23T12:40:00.000-07:00

i've discovered that the amount of gear you need for a triathlon is both exciting and overwhelming. i am trying to be frugal (since postdocs aren't made of money!) and only upgrade to those things i really feel like i need.

saturday, i found something that i really needed: aero bars. i have spend the last few weeks coveting other people's aero bars, and finally decided i had to have them. after quick stop at the local bike shop, i excitedly started to mount them on my bike. after about three minutes of fumbling, i got discouraged and realized that:

1. i actually needed to read the directions.
2. it was going to take more than five minutes.
3. my complete lack of mechanical ability was once again going to kick me in the butt.

but, thanks to a very patient husband and Sam Adams, i regrouped and started over.

45 minutes later, i put down my allen wreches, stepped back from my bicycle and grinned. the aero bars looked AWESOME! after a quick ride up and down the block, i made some final adjustments and then suited up for a training ride. i hit the capital city bike trail and 30 miles later, i was still grinning from how much i love the aero bars.

verdict on the bars: worth every penny!!

but...i find myself wondering if the 30 miles passed quickly because i was excited for a new toy, or if i really feel that much stronger on the bike. i guess we'll see how i feel tomorrow during brick #3.

lacking motivation

2008-06-20T17:39:00.000-07:00

okay, so today's schedule says "45 minute run"--so around 5 miles. and here i sit, on the couch, having a staring contest with my running sneakers. they are winning (but i will claim that they have the unfair advantage--no eyelids (or eyes for that matter!).

i have run out of excuses to get out of this one. it is no longer 'too hot' now that the sun has gone down. i have had a snack, so i am not too hungry to run. i drank a ton of water today, so i can't pull the 'i'm dehydrated card'.

if i don't go, i'm a slacker. and frankly, of all the names i have been called in my life, i might hate that one the most.

me+running shoes=awesome friday night date!

Long time, no blog

2008-06-19T13:08:00.000-07:00

so i started the blog about a year ago...and like many blogs out there, it remains empty. turns out i didn't have as much interesting stuff to say as i initially thought. hmm. i think the same thing happens when you give a toddler the telephone. as soon as you hand them the receiver, they clam up. take away the receiver, they start blabbering away. turns out, i was that toddler.

so what made me start dreaming of popsicles again? well, just that--the thought of popsicles!

it's summer again and this time, i'm out in the midwest. and as much as i hate to admit, i am kind of liking it. the weather is infinitely better than it was in DC and i actually have some free time on my hands.

and, since i can't stand free time, i'm training for a triathlon. two weeks in. i'm pooped already. today is my day off, and i am loving EVERY.LAZY.MINUTE. i think if i could convince him, i would have my husband carry me everywhere i go today.

even typing has proved a little too strenuous for my liking, so i am off!

First day....

2007-07-05T06:57:00.000-07:00

So, i have decided to hop on the blog bandwagon! i'm always a little late anyway, so it makes sense that i have waited oh...5 years?!?!...since blogs have been popular to see what this is all about!!

some other things to note about me:
i am a bad typer/speller.
i can't function before my first cup of coffee.
i am a self proclaimed brunette (or brown-head), despite all other opinions that point toward me being a blond.

ciao!